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Mar 16, 2015

confessions of a designer fashion label whore turned brand ambassador


Label whore.

No offense taken. I whore myself out several times a day, with no reward needed. I'm a voluntary slave to food porn without shame, because life is incomplete without endless chocolate scrolling. Heck, I was willing to sell my body for a puppy back in the day. I mean they are obvs the new accessory of the decade. So the thought that I would work a pole for a custom Birkin bag? You damn right I would!

Label whore. What a sweet phrase, carrying with it all the connotations of a brain dead shopper who swipes her plastic for pieces of the fashion pie simply because they are more expensive, trendy and high in status. Hello me! Or maybe not? After being suckered into purchases that made me one of the many faceless brand shoppers I was, for a time, easily offended by the slightest suggestion that I cared more about brand names than originality and personal style. My crusade, if left to its own devices, would have surely ended in a massive public bonfire where I ran around the flames like a bohemian rabid animal preaching on the evils of runway fashion and the trickle down theory. Okay, so I might be exaggerating a little, but the truth is, I had to come to terms with my brand preferences and that a little whorish ways isn't so bad when we realize the dud nugget who made up the term really meant "brand ambassador". In fact, I've come to believe that knowing and loving a designer brand is an excellent way to become a conscious consumer whom can authentically engage in, what can be, a highly superficial world. In simpler terms, I want to love, wear, and advertise for designers that reflect my values and tastes. And there is nothing that makes you a sell out for that. For example, I value ethics, fabric choices, fit, tailoring, simplicity and now minimalism. I think its important to shop local and to make lifestyle choices that are environmentally friendly. However, if I only fill my closet with shit that doesn't reflect any of those sentiments, I become a walking billboard for hypocrisy. So it begs one to wonder - what the hell are all those "top fashion bloggers" valuing when they wear everything from Anthropologie and J.Crew to Forever21 and Azzedine Alaia or Alex Wang mixed with classic Chanel all at the drop of a paycheck for their c/o shenanigans? Well, we may never know since their blog posts lack substantial thought, but I'll tell you one thing, they're redefining what it means to be a working girl. #justsayin

4 comments

Mar 9, 2015

stop spending money on shit & budget in freelancing or launching a business

So this one time at band camp, this chick told me how she became a mega fashion mogul by pulling a total #RichKidsOfBeverlyHills by blowing all her daddy's money on sample sales, custom Birkin bags, and Mercedes Benz birthday gifts for friends while also running an online vintage shop and blogging about her style. I was like "b*tch please, that ain't real life!" And she was like nodding profusely, preaching about trust funds being the key to success. So I smacked her. Just kidding. I only locked her in the trumpet closet.

If that were a true story, it would mimic real life today down to the smack. Most of us classy ladies don't go around backhanding people, but we curl up our lips with disgust and envy when we see these dodo brains making six figures thanks to handouts while the rest of us can barely afford the higher-end ramen noodle brand at the corner store.

Don't be like them. Be smarter. Just stop spending your money on shit. Period. Or stop complaining. End of discussion. 

I absolutely promise you that what you think is necessary elements of humane living qualifies as arbitrary bullshit that you can slowly add back to the a la carte menu once you've conquered your dreams. It's really as simple as weight loss being calorie intake - high activity level. Stop playing a part and treating strangers to coffee at Starbucks for "business meetings". Stop paying for internet when its its free at Starbucks. Stop shopping weekly at that Zara around the corner from Starbucks! I learned the hard way how stupidly simple it is to afford starting my own fashion tech company and freelancing.
17 comments
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